I recently challenged my girlfriend to come in a vacation with me so that we can finally have our bet between us (I was the winner) evened. So I challenged her that she won’t be able to swim with me next to a pack of hungry mutant whale sharks that breathe fire and eat humans for fun. Haha, I tried scaring her a lot and make her feel bad for I just love to see her scared because of the funny face she makes in those moments. Oh my God I can’t even start putting into words how funny that was. Let me tell you the whole story.

This whole trip began after we were announced that the flight we wanted to take to Manilla has been delayed by 2 hours. This has put our journey to an annoying halt and we risked on losing our connection to our favorite vacancy spot. So we had to ask for help and in the end it was proven that there was a glitch that the computer handling the flights has made and we could head on to our destination in a short while. That’s because we wanted to buy new tickets without having to wait for 2 hours and it would’ve also meant spending more money.

Finally we had reached to our destination. We took a rest and then immediately headed to the part of the location where we could take a swim with these amazing creatures. There aren’t many things that are known about these creatures, just the fact that they are very solitary and hard to spot. When it comes to male sharks, they usually are less than 3 meters in length and can be spotted hanging in small groups. Also when it comes to feeding in the depths of the oceans, there’s no info about this. I started making some jokes with my girlfriend trying to scare her out, telling her that the sharks will eat her tits and she will look like a boy. She got so upset on me that she slapped my face twice (on the same cheek). But I didn’t mind and told her that “Jesus wants you to slap the other as well”. We both went out in a burst of laughter and kept that good mood for over an hour. Soon, we were heading into the water, prepared to face these mysterious creatures. A guide was with us and he was an expert in dealing with these creatures, but he was continuously talking about how gentle and loving they can be… my girlfriend started to think that he’s some weirdo that molests fishes. How’s that for a good mood?

Before diving into the deep abyss, the guide told us that these creatures can also be found in South Africa, Belize, Mozambique, Honduras, Western Australia, Mexico and Christmas Island (Hohoho and a bottle of rum!). It’s not that we cared about that info, but he wanted to show us who’s the one with the heavier brain around.

Diving into the warm waters we started swimming. 10 minutes and we’ve seen nothing popping. Another 10 minutes passed and nothing. We started doubting this strange fish lover’s experience and we began thinking that he’s just driving us deeper into the ocean to feed us to his strange friends. Suddenly I felt something touching me and I turned around slowly thinking my girlfriend needs some underwater love. I didn’t even get to turn and I saw my girlfriend looking scared at me. I thought to myself: “Maybe Ariel the ocean’s princess is here?”. But when I turned, there was this massive shark looking at me curiously. I instantly wet my pants while my girlfriend and the shark guide were looking at me. Yap, there’s no other way to prove you’re a man! After a mere 10 seconds, the shark left and was swimming around us. I guess my water gun showed him…

After that, the guide approached me and he told me that I must not be afraid, for they are feeding on fish eggs, krill, plankton, jellyfish, small fish and coral spawn. So that means that they aren’t the mutant killing machines I have pictured in the first place. I was very happy to swim along with some of the newly arrived sharks and also told my girlfriend to take some photos. She wasn’t scared anymore of these wonderful creatures.

Later on the guide explained us that they have some similarities with the human behavior, and that is they cough. But they do not cough when they’re sick, but only when they need to clear their dermal denticles of the accumulated food. It would be interesting to clean our teeth while coughing. No more toothpaste expenses, well not that there are too many people befriending it.

After our amazing scuba diving experience, we started getting along together even better. This experience really strengthened the bond between us and made us realize how much we need each other. I didn’t play any more tricks on my girlfriend from that day on cause I didn’t find anything special in continuing with my childish attitude.

Now, if only we could live the hundred years these sharks are estimated to live, we would definitely be in for a very happy ending!

I noun puknięcie, wystrzał, hałas, trzask ; muz. muzyka pop ; napój gazowany
II verb intransitive pękać (z hukiem) ; pokazać się, pojawiać się (niespodziewanie) ; wpadać (np. na pogawędkę) ; strzelać (np. z pistoletu) ; wyciągać z hukiem (np. korek szampana)
III verb transitive sprawić, że coś pęknie, strzeli lub wybuchnie ; podrzucić coś lub położyć nagle ; strzelać + sth – z czegoś ; strzelać + sb – do kogoś ; uderzyć + sb – kogoś ; brać (np. narkotyki) ; pić (np. alkohol)

noun otchłań ; głębia
adjective anat. skórny, odnoszący się do skóry

noun cel, miejsce przeznaczenia, destynacja (np. wyjazdu, podróży itp.) ; miejsce przeznaczenia (np. wysyłki towarów, listu itp.)

noun usterka
noun biol. meduza
noun biol. kryl
noun akwalung

I adjective samotny (np. spacer, dom, obłok na niebie itp.) ; odludny, ustronny, odosobniony (np. miejsce, polana) ; pojedynczy (np. teren) ; opustoszały (np. miejsce) ; biol. żyjący z dala od stada

II nounosoba stroniąca od ludzi, pot. odludek, samotnik ; biol. osobnik żyjący z dala od stada

I noun biol. ikra, skrzek ; biol. nasienie ; biol. grzybnia

II verb transitive składać (ikrę) ; rodzić (dziecko) ; płodzić (potomstwo) ; dawać początek (życia)

III verb intransitive składać ikrę ; mnożyć się (rozmnażać)

I noun miejsce ; kropka, punkt ; plamka, plama, cętka
II adjective na miejscu, na poczekaniu (np. naprawiany – o towarze) ; na składzie (o towarze) ; do natychmiastowego wykonania (dostarczenia) (np. usługa, towar itp.)

III verb transitive spostrzegać, dostrzegać, zauważać + sb/sth – kogoś/coś ; kropkować + sth – coś ; nakrapiać + sth – coś ; plamić, brudzić + sth – coś ; orientować się + sth – w czymś

noun slang. dziwak
verb transitive przychodzić z przyjacielską pomocą ; okazać się przyjacielem

verb transitive zawiadamiać + sb/sth – kogoś/coś, ogłaszać, oznajmiać, komunikować + sb/sth – komuś/czemuś

noun biol. niewielki ząb, ząbek (np. rekina)

I adjective równy, płaski (np. powierzchnia) ; gładki ; stały (np. temperatura) ; równomierny (np. oddech) ; jednolity (np. kolor) ; spokojny (np. głos, ton) ; mat. parzysty (o liczbie)
II adverb nawet ; jeszcze
III verb transitive wyrównywać (np. szanse) ; wyrównywać, zmniejszać różnicę
IV verb intransitive wyrównywać się
V noun arch. wieczór, schyłek dnia

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